Yesterday, I went to see my neurologist sleep doctor, who manages my CPAP machine.  He is located in the same practice as my Movement Disorder Specialist neurologist.  My sleep doctor immediately noticed that I didn’t appear to be doing well – that my tremor was active, that my walking was stiff and slow, and that my voice was subdued and almost slurred.

While discussing my CPAP machine settings and how I am doing overall, he decided to excuse himself for a moment and then brought in my Movement Disorder Specialist to the exam room.  My MDS (who was in a hurry as he had patients in exam rooms waiting for him) then took a glance at me, asked me a few questions, then discussed some medication options and decided to add a generic carbidopa-levodopa along with my rasagiline.

He also encouraged me to take the antioxidant medication brand that is typically used for eye issues but in this case wanting me to use it for Parkinson’s.  I was encouraged by my sleep doctor to start Melatonin before bed.  Due to my struggles with walking and the unfortunate reality that I do have a life-long progressive illness, I was also provided a handicapped parking tag, to be able to use during the “off” times when I struggle with walking and balance.

I am already noticing a slight difference with improvement in my functioning on this generic carbidopa-levodopa pill, but it is early to notice major changes.  I am immediately aware the moment when the medicine is active in my system, and then am aware of when it starts to fade out before I am to take another dose.

I have been going through quite a bit of changes at my employment and a heavy amount of work stress lately – much of it job related changes/situations, while some of it is in part due to my attempts to manage daily tasks with the struggles and limitations of my condition.  It is hard to say what impacts what – since stress and cortisol are the enemies of Parkinson’s and can make it worse.

With this medication change, I am hoping that I can function better and handle the work stress and daily job demands better.  For the moment, I have a renewed since of optimism.

As hard as it is, I am trying to focus through a lens of gratitude.  I am trying to notice the things that are “right” or “okay” in my life – and absorb the quality moments that happen.  It is so hard to do when your mind is in a state of distress with some life circumstances, all the while, your body and mind become tired with each heavy step.

I am aware that many of you reading this have it worse than me, so I send those of you who do, and those of you who struggle some waves of hope and love energy.

Sometimes the waters of life get rough, and that is when you must reach out to anyone or anything out there that you can find to support you and to keep your head above water for the moment.

Keep on!